A Maniac with a Megaphone
A month and a half ago I joined Twitter.
I couldn’t have asked for a friendlier reception. People I had never met sent tweets to welcome me, compliment my books and mention my arrival to their friends. I felt as if I had shuffled nervously into the biggest party in the world, only to have lots of good-humoured strangers haul me from the doorway and put a drink in my hand.
However, finding myself suddenly in the Twitterverse was also bewildering and daunting. For a newbie, reading a Twitter feed is like trying to decipher a document that has been through a shredder. Worse still, I knew that there were almost certainly unspoken Twitter rules, which you had to obey to avoid being rude or annoying or overbearing, and I didn’t know what they were.
Gradually, of course, I have begun to get a sense of the way this new, weird, wondrous, gigantic community works. I’m starting to enjoy Twitter, in fact. And yet there are still times when I find an empty tweet box staring back at me expectantly.
Should I tweet about my ‘to do’ list or my morning hike? Why would anybody care about that, unless they were a stalker with a superhumanly high boredom threshold?
Even now, each time I tweet I feel like I’m some maniac in the street with a megaphone, deafening strangers with inanities.
“HELLO! IT’S THURSDAY! I LIKE CHEESE! DOES ANYBODY WANT TO READ MY BOOKS?”
What is more, while I have been standing here with my megaphone (and it’s only been in my hands a short while, I’m not even sure I’m using it properly) some people have stopped to listen. Scores of them, in fact. I can’t see their faces, but it’s just possible they might expect me to be interesting.
Uh oh. Suddenly I can’t think of a single thing to say.
And then an idea creeps into my feverish, panicky little brain. If I quickly write a blog post, I can tweet about that. What can I blog about? What have I done recently? Er… joined Twitter?
So now I have blogged about tweeting, so that I can tweet about blogging about tweeting. Later, if I’m desperate, I may blog about tweeting about blogging about tweeting, so that I can tweet about blogging about tweeting about blogging about tweeting.
Nobody was expecting me to spend any of my time writing books, were they?
Hahaha! This post made me laugh so much. Having only joined twitter a few months ago (after much nay-saying and feet-dragging, I should add) I am also finding that I enjoy it more than I thought I would. But I am still completely daunted about what I should tweet about. Do people really care that I just cooked my dinner? Or that I’m going to drink some tea later? Do they? I doubt it.
You have no need to worry though. If you are a mad-woman with a megaphone, then we (your followers) are like a crazy-eyed band of robe-wearing disciples, huddled around you in the street and jotting down your every word you say to assemble future chants from. Tweet away, I say!
If that analogy I just made didn’t just scare you off, that is. 🙂
Thanks for commenting – it’s nice to know that I’m not the only person to have these worries! As for the ‘crazy-eyed band of robe-wearing disciples’, that won’t scare me off. Curiously enough, the idea that my followers might be as maniacal as me is actually rather reassuring…
Fear not! I hear there are tweeted blog posts about what not to do when tweeting (some of which include not tweeting about blog posts, so it all gets very confusing).
Do what feels right. If you notice someone being odious, resolve not to make such mistakes yourself, and always apologize if you find you’ve been odious yourself.
Far as I can tell, that’s as close to a “secret rulebook” as there is when it comes to blogging and tweeting.
Hi there, by the way! Recent fan of your Amazon samples (I’m a big sampler) and dipping my toes into the fray with a library book or three. Can’t wait to meet your characters and experience your worlds!
Hello Tami! Thanks for the reassurances and the advice. I’ve been reading some online posts on ‘how not to tweet’. It’s nice to know that the most important rule of Twittiquette is not being obnoxious.
Thanks for your kind words about the samples! Hope you enjoy the books. (By the way, I do very much like your blog, particularly the post about non-fairy Muses.)
I’m about halfway through Well Wished and am loving it so far! <3
I'm glad you enjoyed the blog post! (and doubly glad it was one of mine and not one by a guest poster! *laugh*)
I believe I shall create a rival microblogging platform and call it “Maniac with a Megaphone.” I will of course provide you with a cut of the no-doubt enormous profits.
Anna M.C.
I’m not sure I can be trusted with enormous profits. I would only spend them all on toys and sweets.